The Top Things We Learned From The 2010 Winter Olympics

The Winter Games are over, but the memories will last a lifetime. It's time to recap this unforgettable event one last time with today's list . . .

--Ice Dancing . . . still gay.

--Apparently, Americans are good at hockey.

--Bob Costas is a huge fan of Shaun White. And an even bigger fan of Bob Costas.

--Canadian fans are almost as annoying as Philadelphia Eagle fans.

--You can get a Samsung Mythic for only $99.99 after a mail-in rebate.

--The half-pipe can only be watched while smoking a full pipe.

--An Olympic luger is not greater than or equal to a metal pole.

--NBC's Mary Carillo is a dude.

--No matter how many medals you win, a name like "Bode" will ALWAYS make you a tool.

--Lindsay Vonn is spank-alicious.

--Even after watching it for 2-weeks, nobody really understands curling.

--The only way to make the luge more dangerous is to hold it in Detroit.

--Evidently, Jay Leno returns to "The Tonight Show" tonight.

--Black dudes can't ski for crap

--The Olympics NEEDS pole dancing.

--There IS, in fact, something duller than my sex life.

--The streak of the U.S. not winning bobsled gold is over. But the streak of me not giving a crap continues . . .

--Shaun White is going to pull way more tail this year than someone who looks like him should ever be able to.

--Biathlon would be a lot more exciting if they replaced the targets with drunk Eskimos.

--Watching blonde Swedish chicks furiously pushing brooms is EROTIC AS HELL

--Between women's speed-skating and bobsled, the Olympics are like Christmas for fans of camel toes.

--You no longer care about Dan Jansen or his dead sister.

--Nothing. I didn't watch them.

Lets do this again in 4 years!
-Brady