Mar 13, 2010

A Guy Wrote Letters To Famous People And Pretended To Be 10 Years Old . . . Here Are Their Responses



About 15 years ago, a guy named Bill Geerhart was unemployed and looking for a way to entertain himself.

--So he assumed the role of a smart 10-year-old kid named "Little Billy," and started writing letters to celebrities and other prominent figures asking for advice on imaginary problems. Here are some of the responses he's collected over the past 15 years:

#1.) Billy asked LARRY FLYNT if there was a version of "Hustler" magazine for kids. Flynt responded, quote, "You'll be 18 before you know it. Until then, you should read the Sears & Roebuck catalog."

#2.) Billy asked former Attorney General JANET RENO who was a better crime fighter: Batman or the Terminator. Reno responded that she read Batman comics as a kid, so, quote, "I know of his efforts to fight crime better than I know of the Terminator's work."

#3.) Billy asked SARAH PALIN if he could come to Alaska and hunt wolves from a helicopter with her. Palin's dad, Chuck Heath, responded that there was, quote, "No wolf hunting from helicopters here."

#4.) Billy asked DR. JACK KEVORKIAN, a.k.a. "Doctor Death," if he should become a convenience store clerk when he grows up so he could play video games on the job. Kevorkian responded, quote, "Sometimes I wish I was a 7-Eleven clerk!"

#5.) Billy asked uber-feminist GLORIA STEINEM if it would be wrong for the Six Million Dollar Man to hit the Bionic Woman in a fight. An aide responded, quote, "As Gloria explained to me, it would only be fair if it was done in self-defense."

#6.) Billy wrote to a bunch of serial killers and asked them if he should drop out of school. DAVID BERKOWITZ, a.k.a. the "Son of Sam" killer, told him, quote, "Don't do self-destructive things."

--TED KACZYNSKI, a.k.a. the "Unabomber," wished him luck. And CHARLES MANSON just ranted about how he wasn't getting the "Los Angeles Times" in prison.

#7.) Billy asked Supreme Court Justice CLARENCE THOMAS what he liked most on the McDonald's menu. Thomas responded, quote, "I like almost everything there."
(--Especially the soda fountain Coke, am I right?) (???)

#8.) And when Billy asked officials with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints if he should become a Mormon because, quote, "you get to wear cool underwear and have extra wives," a group of missionaries actually showed up at his door.
(Yahoo News / Google News)

(--Bill turned all the letters into a book called "Little Billy's Letters". It just came out this week. You can buy it for $13.49 here . . .)

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